Onwards and Upwards
Headway Finglas Trainees Troy Donnelly, John Grundy and Tommy Leonard and are in conversation with Samantha Whelan about their social and work lives following brain injury.
John: I'm nearly two years discharged from hospital after my stroke. For the first few months, my social life wasn't great. Since then I see friends now at least on average two to three time a week. We usually go out as my apartment is very small. We might go to the local pub for a coffee and a chat or to a local restaurant. So in that sense, I would have a social life, I do get out. The only thing is - my social life is not fully controlled by me. I can't just walk out and go to a pub. I won't go to a pub on my own, even for a soft drink. I need somebody to take me. Likewise, visiting is only done strictly at others invitation and also if I can get transport. I can't afford taxis all the time. So the idea of ringing someone up and saying "would you mind me calling up for half an hour?" - That's gone. So my social life is dependent on others. Luckily I do have loads of friends.
Tommy: I'm not as badly off as John is. I don't think my social life got too much affected by the injuries I got. I go out, I always did. I go for a few pints. I also still enjoy going out with my wife or my daughter to visit museums and other places of historical interest. Last week I went to see a show for the first time in the O2 in Dublin. Strictly come dancing!
Samantha: Were you under pressure to go there Tommy or did you go under your own free will?
Tommy: I had to be encouraged to go! - But I enjoyed it. It was grand! One thing that put me off going again though was the large crowd.
Troy: When I came out of hospital, I went into a nursing home. When I came out, I didn't really have a social life. I'm much more sociable now as I'm coming to the end of my time here. Attending Headway has helped me to be able to socialise rather than just vegetating at home. Going on outings with the group has helped me to be able to go out with my children -my personality is more outgoing now. Headway has helped me to deal with a lot of anger that I had so I am able to socialise better. I find it important to have a sense of humour to deal with people and situations.
John: I went back to work part time. The first year after my stroke I never ever thought I would return to work. I spent seven months in hospital. During the first two months I was in danger of not making it. I never thought I would see O'Connell Street again. I certainly never believed for one moment that I would ever be able to go back to teaching. Emotionally I didn't think I could go back. My memory and my general intellect are fine -the Headway neuropsychological assessment proved that I am perfectly ok to teach, but I decided I wasn't strong enough. During the second year, in the summer of 2009 I was asked by a guy in charge of the night school to come back. He said 'John I don't see why you can't come back. You might have a physical disability but after a while the students will get used to that. Concentrate on your ability to teach rather than your physical disability'. I decided to give it a go, not thinking for one moment that I would be successful. I thought I might have to drop out by Christmas. But now, this is going extremely well, I'm really enjoying it.
This helped with my social life because I have a number of teacher friends. One guy was very good by giving me lifts and I enjoy all the chats in the staff room.
Tommy: I was asked if I would like to do voluntary work in Collins Barrack and I jumped on the chance. I never thought that would ever be allowed to do something like that. Imagine me coming out of the scrubs in Cabra. I thought, wow, me going into Collins Barrack to work with artefacts. I remember hearing about a lot of these artefacts being dug up in the 70's and there I end up... I didn't think it would happen to me. I felt privileged. I get to clean the artefacts, cut the foam and re-bag them to keep them preserved. I also came up with a more efficient way of doing things which came from my previous work experience. This was copied throughout the project and helped everybody.
Troy: Tommy really enjoys it. When Tommy comes in and the project in Collins Barrack's we can tell by Tommy's face. We can all see the difference in Tommy since he started in Collins Barracks.
Tommy: ...I get a sense of achievement from doing the voluntary work. The only thing missing now is the money. I hope that the experience I am getting will help me to get me a job. The people I work with in the museum are nice. They make me feel like one of them.
Troy: That's good. That's socialising. It's getting you back into society.
Tommy: One day, I was there doing my work and the phone rang. The girl said 'Tommy It's for you'. I was shocked, I was getting a phone call in an office. It was one of the other girls who works there thanking me for work I had done the day before.
John: You deserve it. What you do is appreciated. You deserve it.
Tommy: I have to say, fair play to Headway even asking me to go in to Collins Barracks. I never thought I could do it.
John: That's your lack of confidence.
Tommy: Now I tell everybody in the pub about it!
Troy: I'm on the Headway advocacy group which is great. We've all got to know each other. One of my shortcomings is my loss of short term memory. I might not remember all of their names but we meet as friends and we ask how each other's life is going. I have travelled to Cork and Limerick for meetings to meet with group representatives from both counties. It's a good way to meet new people. We come up with ways of how we can make more people aware of Headway and how to try to come up with ways of raising funds. I then feedback the information from the meetings to the group in Finglas. The best part for me is making a lot more friends.
I have also started doing voluntary work two days a week in a day care centre that looks after the elderly. It's great. It's all good. I help them with playing bingo, serving meals and doing the garden. I will be going out on social outings. I know I will gain a lot from doing the voluntary work. It will help with my confidence and with being able to socialise with people. That's a big thing for me - I had a fear of how I would react to people.
John: Coming to Headway has helped me to get closer to the life I had. It will never be total restored but I have got a lot better. I am trying slowly to rebuild my life. Headway has been really, really important.
Tommy: Headway must be good because we keep coming in. Even if sometimes there might be bad days we still come back the next day. I overheard people talking about me down in the museum saying Tommy's very clever. I give them a lot of information. I feel equal to everybody else there.
Troy: For anybody coming into Headway, acceptance is so important. After that it's onwards and upwards.